by Deacon Peggy Hahn (she/her), Co-Director at LEAD

Our six grandchildren (ages 9-14) are busy and there is constant negotiation with their parents about their precious free time. They all have a great life – sometimes too much greatness! 

Will we go to a birthday party, soccer tournament, taekwondo, dance competition, Scouts, cheer, band, or football practice? Will we ride bikes, play a video game, do homework, laundry, or yardwork or simply relax? Whew! There are so many options. 

Have you noticed that doctors, dentists, and marketers are on to this?  We get reminder calls, text messages, portals, et.al. that bug you so you can’t forget – and the fee if you are a no-show. 

The pace of family life is nonstop, and the exhaustion is real. From my perspective it looks like three things set the agenda, though they are prioritized differently in each family.  

• Our day depends on what goes on our calendar first. 

• Our day depends on what our friends are doing. 

• Our day depends on what aligns with our values.  

If I want to get the attention of my grandchildren or my adult children, the calendar is my most successful first step by either planning the year in advance or creating rituals they don’t want to miss. The same would be true for scheduling a youth group event, service opportunity, or other church gathering. The thing is, if my church has a plan for the year, I have no idea. However, I have baseball schedules, football games, taekwondo belt tests, dance competitions, and band performances mapped out already. I get reminder texts and know there is an app for that. 

The only rituals that I am aware of (as a church geek) are Sunday mornings or the rituals of Advent, Christmas, Lent and Holy Week. Yet, even I can’t tell you what time my church will have Advent or Christmas Eve services right now as I plan my fall calendar – and I am talking about 2025. I have the grandchildren’s activity calendars set through May 2026.  

This might sound like overkill, but we are buying plane tickets now for the holidays. We are negotiating blended families, single parents, and busy teenagers – isn’t everybody? The more we can build out our calendar together, the easier it is for us to prioritize our time. 

It really does beg the question: if the church is not on the calendar, does it really exist?