by David Scherer (he/him), Co-Founder of JUSTmove

“What do I say to my racist parishioners to move them forward?”  

My partner Joe Davis and I get this question at almost every speaking engagement or training that we lead. Perhaps you have been wondering the same thing when you observe members of your church enacting problematic ideas or behaviors about race, gender, or sexual orientation. Let me offer a few responses to that question: 

 Embrace a posture of humility rather than self-righteousness, when possible  

I had a friend who used to rail on her congregation every Sunday about how racist they were. She said, “I beat them up all the time and they never seemed to handle it very well. Then, one Sunday, I finally decided to shift from “you racist people” to “us racist people”. Once we accompany each other on the road to Emmaus, the lines of who are the “good ones” and who are the “bad ones” melt away as our hearts burn in Jesus’ presence together. This does much more to create the relational (and even systemic) transformation we are seeking than preaching at the “bad ones”.   

 Use clarifying questions when in doubt  

For some of us, we may be so offended by someone’s words that all we can do is just say “Can you say that again?” or “What did you mean by that?” Not only does it function for us as a moment to catch our breath and think of our response, but it can also (if asked with genuine curiosity) allow the person to rethink what they said while ensuring that we didn’t miss anything important the first time.  

 Storytelling changes hearts  

One of the best ways to invite someone on the journey of faithful anti-racism is to share our own story of learning. This normalizes imperfection and acknowledges that we are all works in progress. It takes us away from statistics, graphs, and think-pieces, and ushers us into a deeper relationship with one another and with God.  

 Pray before you speak 

Dr. Okogyeamon (Herbert Perkins) is a teacher of mine who uses “sleight of mouth” to describe the “wise as serpents” Jedi-like approach needed to be effective in conversations about racism. How do we lovingly call someone “in” (rather than calling them “out”) in order to point out their racist behavior? This requires creativity and listening to the Spirit’s imagination to provide the needed words to preserve someone’s dignity while letting them know that what they said or did was harmful. Take a moment to ask the Spirit to give you the right words before you speak.  

 It must be acknowledged that racism is harming and killing people we love as we speak. The idea that we would be gracious and patient with others may not always be realistic (or even prudent all the time). We sanction behavior based on what we allow and don’t allow socially. Allowing racism to go unchecked can create a dangerous precedent. And yet, we must also remember this truth: “If we say we have no racism we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” Acknowledging the reality that we are all implicated in this harmful system can help us get away from self-righteous condemnation and move toward humble Christ-centered accountability. To my white friends: What would you want people to say to you about your racism? This can be a helpful question to inform your approach to the inevitable racism that shows up in our lives together. I believe that The Spirit will lead you in this work and give you the words and actions needed to create the changes that are needed. And don’t forget the community and clouds of witnesses around you that are upholding you. You’ve got this!! 

David Scherer is an author, trainer, speaker, and consultant who co-founded JUSTmove: Antiracism through the Arts. To find out more about the work that he and his partner Joe Davis do with congregations and organizations, go to www.justmoveculture.com