By Pastor  Michael Jannett, Community of Grace Lutheran Church (Grayson, GA)

At 24 years old, I was asked to serve as assistant director for a youth discipleship event that would gather more than 300 young people. My first thought was simple: I am not qualified for this.

But Pr. Amy saw something in me that I could not yet see in myself. She did not hand me expertise. She handed me responsibility — and trusted me to use what I already had.

Years later, The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga gave language to what happened in that moment. The authors write, “The important thing is not what one is born with, but what use one makes of that equipment.” I had spent years asking whether I was impressive enough. The book gently shifted the question: How will you contribute?

Church leaders often carry enormous pressure to be experts — and to be liked. But the book offers a piercing insight: “What should one do to not be disliked by anyone? … Constantly gauge other people’s feelings while swearing loyalty to all of them.” That may preserve approval for a time. It does not cultivate growth.

The most meaningful challenges in ministry are rarely solved by expertise alone. They require people to stretch, to let go of familiar patterns, to take responsibility for their own calling. And whenever growth happens, someone feels discomfort. If my primary goal is to remain liked, I will avoid the very conversations that help a community mature.

The authors describe building “horizontal relationships” — equal but not identical. When we stop ranking ourselves and others, we create space for shared vocation. That language resonates deeply with my faith. Scripture reminds us that God looks upon the heart, not outward appearance. We are not valued for performance, charisma, or résumé. We are called — and that calling is always for the sake of others.

The book suggests that true self-worth emerges when we can say, “I am beneficial to the community.” Or even more simply, “I am of use to someone.” That echoes the heart of Christian vocation: we are gifted not to prove ourselves, but to participate in God’s work of healing and restoration.

I have discovered that when I stop trying to secure approval and instead help others recognize their own gifts, leadership becomes lighter. It becomes less about managing impressions and more about multiplying contributions.

This week, notice where you may be seeking universal approval. Then ask a different question: Who is waiting to be invited into their calling? Who needs to hear that what they already carry is enough?

We are not called to be universally admired. We are called to be faithful — and faithfulness is measured not by applause, but by contribution.